Starting Your Own Business and 3 Agonising Emotional Costs

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The cost of employees, marketing costs, capital, and funding are all factors that affect monthly expenses. Why do we not talk about the most important and crucial cost, the emotional cost of starting a business? Imagine if we could quantify the amount of emotional capital in the bank. How much endurance, how much positivity, how much joy, and how much physical well-being we have left. When starting a business, entrepreneurs often run out of financial model and emotional capital.

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Let's face it, we don't talk enough about how we are running out of emotional capital. In a world where every Instagram and LinkedIn post is about entrepreneur success, it is taboo. It's easier to conceal this "empty emotional bank account" from the rest of the world. Our greatest fear is failure. Why would we want others to see our failures in a world that celebrates success?

These are the areas where we feel real pain.

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You probably thought that three things were guaranteed when you worked for a boss: a guaranteed salary, co-workers, and peers. Every day you arrived at work, met people, had lunch with them, complained about your boss and, most importantly, found a way to empathise with other co-workers in similar situations.

It is like being a startup founder. But no one comes knocking at your door with fresh baked cookies. Being a founder of a startup is lonely. You don't have any peers or coworkers. Now, you're the boss and can't complain. Staff meetings are primarily between yourself, your boss and the voices in you head. After endless hours of working the late shift, you finally get home. But it doesn't get better. You may not be able to fully explain what you are going through. Family and friends may not understand why you quit a job and became an entrepreneur.

You can be honest with yourself and admit that being an entrepreneur alone will have or already had an emotional impact on your relationships.

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It was amazing to start this dream business. You felt full of energy, having nearly found the pot of gold at its end. You are free. You are your boss. You have the freedom to do whatever you like. You will get the money! Each task you completed felt like significant progress. I have registered a domain name! My website is now up and running. Hooray! I got my first phone call.

You were on cloud nine when your first win came so quickly! Then, this period ended. These were not a string of wins every day. It's a lot of praying for wins and waiting for wins. The little devil in your side is telling you that there won't be more wins. Although the first client who signed up with you was a great client, it took quite a while before the second one did. Where in the world are you going to find the third client?

You have seen days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and even quarters into months, but every morning, you believe that the breakthrough, the real victory, is within reach. Apart from the fact that your bank account is empty, your emotional account is also nearing zero. You would never have imagined how long and difficult this journey would be.

Although you probably knew that starting a new business would be hectic, no one told you that fast-paced was synonymous with rapid growth or quick gains. Fast-paced was another name for late nights and lots of work. You probably had unrealistic expectations. It does not take five months for success. Growing a business can take years, pitch decks. Be open with yourself. Do you want to be in this for the long-term or the short-term? Maybe it's time to align your expectations with facts and reality.

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The long game requires emotional stamina. You may be able gather it, but you might not be able control the financial stamina. You are now at one a.m., with three tabs open, after the clouds have disappeared and that cloud nine feeling has worn off. The first highlights your bank account balance, which is rapidly falling to zero. The second shows your credit card balance, which is close to its limit. The third displays full-time jobs advertised on LinkedIn. This allows you to return to the corporate world.

It's too late to convince your spouse or other family members that you are investing in the future. Now you're at the point where "I don't know how we will keep the lights on soon" However, Eskom will answer your question with regular load shedding.

This is because it doesn't seem like everyone else is having the same problems. It is both funny and sad that entrepreneurs are out there presenting a false image to the world that it's easy to make it big (e.g. Posts of an entrepreneur standing beside a Range Rover claiming that they have finally succeeded. If you are looking to make a lot of money, you should probably shut down your business. This should not be your goal.

Your startup (business) should be viewed as a means to an eventual end. A startup that leaves a little legacy that you are proud of, with enough food on your table, is the ultimate end. But the means to get there right now are sufficient to make it possible for you to live in the future. Sometimes, that means another part time job. Sometimes, that could mean living below your means.

Why don't we get real?

Stop pretending we can create a new business out of nothing. Perfect relationships. Amazing finances. Stress levels low.

It is not easy to achieve success. It was not easy. It didn't come easy, no matter what you think about the person/people that you aspired to be. The chances are they invested 100x more in their emotional capital than they did in personal capital.

 

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